Saying “Yes” to Everything

Saying yes to everything:

Do you find yourself saying “yes” to everything? And I’m not talking about run of the mill “yeses” that

overextend yourself with family and work duties. I’m talking about saying “yes” to fun and getting

overcommitted with parties, skydiving, concerts, and retreats! I’ve seen a trend in my clientele recently

that shows the flip side of an underlying fear of lack. It’s as if they’ve gotten healthy enough to believe

they deserve to have fun and so are packing in as much as possible before the sky falls in tomorrow. As

a result their “fun” becomes less “fun” as they charge from one event to the other, eye on timepiece

trying to cram in just one more connection, just one more experience. I’ve found this especially true

of women who tend to place a great deal of importance on their relationship with others, some being

so resiliently codependent that they can’t say yes to one and no to another without fear of losing a

friendship. As a result, their social calendar takes over their lives and if they work or take care of a

family as well, boy, they are in real trouble.

The very things that were meant to cause a smile and laughter, i.e. REALEASE stress becomes a major

source of it. And the guilt one feels if they withdraw from Social Networking or the 10

in an attempt to save themselves can be excruciating. It doesn’t seem to make any sense. This is

supposed to be “off time” for goodness sake.

Thus, comes the flu, and the colds, and the allergies and all else that results from a taxed out, lowered

immune system. And once that happens, boy, at least they don’t have to feel guilty about saying “no!”

The whole situation can make us smile once we see the irony and begin to examine the reasons for our

gluttonous need for experiences which will never satisfy if the stress of having them shrinks their value.

Volume becomes the easy answer and quality is lost. My clients continue to feel starved and just load

on more.

Starved for what? Do you want to feel valued by being in demand? Is there an underlying belief that

the good you’ve worked so hard for will be taken away tomorrow? Are you afraid to be left alone with

yourself?

They are questions worth examining and even more worth challenging. Try turning your phone ringer

off for a whole day, let folks leave a voicemail. Put masking tape over the clock in your car so that the

constant looking at the time to find out if you’re going to be late can stop. Say “yes” to only one extra

event a day and then make sure you take two evenings off completely during the week. It can be rather

scary and it can be tremendously rewarding.

Now go find your truth.